When ‘not in the mood’ is something more

Do you have hypoactive sexual desire disorder? Find out how to get diagnosed with HSDD in this sponsored post.

What does it mean when you’re never in the mood for sex?
You might have HSDD.

My husband and I were celibate for a year before we were married. It was a decision that we made together, and one that really served our relationship well. After we were married, though, I fully expected to be like rabbits—anytime, anyplace, anywhere. I was surprised to discover that my libido wasn’t as supercharged as I’d imagined it would be. I wasn’t ever in the mood. Fortunately I have a husband who is incredibly supportive, and a doctor who is very woman-centric. Between the two of them, and listening to my body, I discovered I was struggling with hypoactive sexual desire disorder.

Hypoactive sexual desire disorder, or HSDD is characterized by the lack of a desire to participate in sexual activity. It’s not a rare disorder, as about 15 million women have been diagnosed with it. Unfortunately, the topic is considered taboo, and there are many other women suffering in silence because they’re ashamed and feel alone. Women have the right to desire, just like men, so we need to talk about what it means when you’re never in the mood for sex.

The simple answer for how we can help more women who have HSDD is for doctors to ask about our sexual satisfaction. We’re asked how many partners we have, and if we’ve ever been pregnant. I’ve had doctors ask if I sleep with men, women, or both. Not once has one asked me if I’m experiencing any issues sexually that might be concerning. One simple question, “are you satisfied with your sexual health?” would lead to a dramatic and important change for women.

How can you talk to your doctor about HSDD?

For now, we’re going to have to take charge of our own sexual health, Ladies. We have to talk to our doctors about our concerns as it relates to our libido, and ask them to determine a diagnosis. It helps to go into the appointment armed with your own information, so start by taking the quiz to find out if you have HSDD.

Some of the characteristics that your doctor will look for and ask about include whether you’ve had recent life experiences that might be affecting your libido, an assessment of where you are mentally, and a look at your overall health. There are many causes for low libido like the medications that you’re taking, or your diet, so your doctor will look closely at those things as well.

The most important thing I want women to know about HSDD is that it starts in the brain. Research has shown that the area in the brain that’s responsible for healthy sexual desire isn’t as active in women with low libido. You know what that means, right? It’s not your fault that you’re not in the mood. It’s okay to ask for help.

Are you satisfied with your sexual health?

If you’re not happy with the current state of affairs in your bedroom, it’s time to have a talk with your doctor. Tell them what’s going on, and how you feel. Ask them, specifically, to help you find a solution. Be honest. You shouldn’t feel like you have to sugarcoat the symptoms, or diminish how it feels mentally for you to not have an interest in sex. There is help for you if you have HSDD.

Your sexual health and satisfaction are important. If your doctor hasn’t asked if you’re satisfied with your sexual health, it’s important to tell them anyway. You have the right to desire.

Remember to take the quiz to see if you have HSDD. Learn more about HSDD on the Right to Desire website.

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